(For
convenience your cat is referred to as "he", but of course it applies
to females as well!)
Does my cat really love me or is he
just after food? Opinions do differ on this, but
personally I have no doubt that cats can feel affection for their
humans. When my cats come running to meet me when I get home,
purring and rubbing against me, they are not after food as I left them
food when I went out. And they are not lonely as they have each
other. They are really pleased to see ME.
On the other hand you can't take a cat's affection
for granted in the way that you often can a dog's. The cat is
very much his own person and he decides on whom he will bestow his
affection and trust. Of course food is part of it - your cat
won't love you if you don't feed him as that is an important way you
show you care. You can help yourself to gain his affection by
showing him that YOU love HIM - he really will respond to this.
Talk to him, never shout at him or hit him, always be consistent so he
know he can trust you.
For one of the best books I have found on how to
bond with your cat, Click
Here!
If I adopt a new cat who is very
nervous and timid, how can I help him to relax? This partly depends on the reasons
why he is nervous - which of course you may not always know. I
took on a two-year-old cat who had been ill-treated, and for the first
three weeks he hid under the sofa or behind a piece of furniture.
He would come out at night to eat his food or use his
litter-tray. Gradually he started to come out a bit more and a
bit more, but if I tried to touch him he would cower away as if he
expected me to hit him. After three weeks he suddenly came to me
of his own accord, and now we are trmendous pals! If he appears
very nervous, keep him shut in one room at first and just let him take
his own time.
A cat may have had a very frightening
experience which makes him just want to hide away. Some
people advise the use of kittening pens in the main family living
room. If the cat continues to hide he will never learn to
face life, whereas being in a pen he knows he is safe while seeing the
life of the family going on round him.
If a cat is feral - i.e. has never been
socialised to mix with humans - it can be extremely hard to get him to
settle in your home if he is an adult. Some experts advise
that the best thing to do may be to neuter him and let him go back to
where he came from. Having said that, I do know people who have
successfully brought round feral cats, but it takes huge patience and
perseverance.
Can a
cat be kept indoors? Again, opinions differ about
this. I am giving my personal view here which is that I
hate to see a cat kept indoors unless there are very pressing reasons
such as health problems. A cat has two sides to his nature - the
side that loves to stretch out by the fire or curl up in the best
chair, and the side that likes to explore and hunt and climb trees, and
just pretend he is wild! He should be allowed to express both
sides of his nature unless there are vital reasons for keeping him
inside. If you live in a location where it would be
dangerous to allow a cat to go out, perhaps you should consider whether
you should have a cat in the first place!
Of course there are cats who simply
don't want to go out and live quite happily as indoor cats. And I
am sure lots of people will write to me angrily and say that they won't
allow their cat out after a previous pet was tragically killed on the
road, and the cat is quite happy. As I say, the above is my
personal view. If your cat is kept indoors, do make sure he has
lots of stimulation and opportunities for exercise and play.
Here are some great play
suggestions for him!
